Living with housemates at uni can be loads of fun. You’re young, your away from home, you have your own place and real freedom and independence.
However, it also presents its fair share of challenges, particularly when it comes to maintaining a clean and organized living space.
Conflicting cleanliness standards can quickly escalate into tensions and disagreements, threatening the harmonious coexistence you once envisioned.
There are ways to avoid this though, even if you are living with people who have very different ideas about what clean and tidy means.
Using the practical strategies and insightful tips contained here, you can ensure your housemates will be receptive to your pleas for tidiness among the chaos.
Establishing Ground Rules
The foundation of a successful shared living arrangement lies in clear communication and mutually agreed-upon expectations.
Before things have a chance to get out of hand, you should have an open and honest discussion with your prospective housemates. This initial conversation should serve as a platform to lay down the ground rules, addressing concerns, and aligning your visions for a clean and well-maintained living environment.
Cleanliness is a subjective concept, and what one person deems acceptable may be a source of frustration for another. To avoid future conflicts, discuss specific areas of concern, such as the kitchen, bathrooms, and common areas, and agree on reasonable standards for each.
Creating a Chore Chart
A chore chart is a powerful tool that can help distribute responsibilities fairly and transparently. So long as everyone sticks to it of course.
Collaboratively decide on the tasks that need to be completed regularly, and assign them equitably among housemates. This visual representation serves as a constant reminder of each person’s responsibilities, creating accountability and minimizing the risk of overlooked chores.
Agreeing on reasonable penalties or consequences for repeated violations can help reinforce the importance of adhering to the agreed-upon standards. However, it’s essential to approach this discussion with empathy and understanding, as life’s unexpected circumstances may occasionally hinder adherence.
Don’t be a dictator about it!
Leading by Example
Actions speak louder than words, and one of the most effective ways to encourage tidiness among your housemates is to lead by example. By consistently demonstrating positive cleaning behaviors, you can inspire others to follow suit and create a ripple effect of cleanliness throughout your shared living space.
Start by keeping your personal areas, such as your bedroom and bathroom, impeccably clean and organized. This not only sets a positive example but also prevents your housemates from feeling like they are the sole contributors to the mess. A well-maintained personal space can also serve as a source of motivation for others to follow suit.
When it’s time for communal cleaning tasks, roll up your sleeves and actively participate. Whether it’s washing dishes, sweeping the floor, or taking out the trash, your active involvement sends a powerful message that you’re committed to maintaining a clean living environment. This can inspire your housemates to reciprocate and take pride in their shared responsibilities.
If you notice that a housemate has overlooked a task or left a mess, approach the situation with kindness and understanding. Instead of accusatory remarks, offer gentle reminders and suggest solutions. For instance, you could say, “I’ll help you with those dishes from last night later on. You wash and i’ll dry?” This collaborative approach creates a positive dynamic and encourages cooperation.
You don’t want a me against them scenario, you want it to be about teamwork.
Divide and Conquer: Separating Spaces and Responsibilities
In some cases, despite your best efforts, reaching a consensus on cleanliness standards may prove challenging. When faced with such situations, explore alternative solutions that minimize conflicts and preserve the harmony of your shared living arrangement.
If your housemates’ messiness consistently spills over into communal areas, consider designating personal spaces for each individual. This could involve assigning separate cupboards, shelves, or even small appliances to each housemate. By creating these boundaries, you can maintain control over your personal belongings and minimize the impact of your housemates’ untidiness on your living environment.
In addition to personal spaces, it’s advisable to clearly delineate shared and private areas within your living quarters. Common areas, such as the kitchen, living room, and bathrooms, should be treated as shared spaces, while bedrooms and personal workspaces can be designated as private domains. This separation can help mitigate conflicts and ensure that everyone respects each other’s personal boundaries.
Hiring Professional Cleaning Services
If all else fails and tensions persist, consider the option of hiring professional cleaning services. While this solution may come at an additional cost, it can alleviate the stress and frustration associated with constantly cleaning up after your housemates.
Alternatively, you could propose splitting the cost of professional cleaning services among all housemates, potentially motivating them to contribute more actively to maintaining a tidy living space.
Communication and Check-ins
Effective communication is the cornerstone of resolving conflicts so regular check ins are helpful.
When addressing cleanliness concerns, approach the conversation with empathy. Are you expecting too much? Can you all meet in the middle in areas where you disagree? This is all much easier if you get on as friends too, so do your best to build and maintain positive relationships with your housemates.
Establishing a routine for regular household meetings can create a safe and constructive environment for addressing cleanliness concerns. During these meetings, encourage each housemate to voice their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Actively listen to one another and work collaboratively to identify practical solutions that accommodate everyone’s needs and preferences.
Using “I” Statements and Avoiding Accusations
When expressing your concerns or frustrations, frame your statements using “I” language, focusing on your personal experiences and perspectives. For example, “I feel overwhelmed when the kitchen is cluttered, as it makes it difficult for me to prepare meals.” This approach is less confrontational than saying “You never clean up and it stresses me out”. It reduces the likelihood of your housemates becoming defensive or feeling attacked.
Instead of assigning blame or making assumptions, strive to understand the underlying reasons behind your housemates’ messiness. There may be extenuating circumstances, such as work or personal stress, that contribute to their struggles with maintaining a tidy living space.
By approaching the situation with empathy and a willingness to understand, you stand a better chance of getting the outcome you want.
