Zoe Stavri studies Psychology at University College London.

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Photography: Robert Terrell

Today is a very special day. Forget Christmas, forget Easter, forget Valentine's Day. Today is Steak and a Blow Job Day, a “joyous day of sensuality for the men”.

According to its instigators, Steak and a Blow Job Day (S&BJD) was created as a counterpoint to Valentine's Day, wherein the poor men end up working themselves to the bone to create a perfect day for the very special ladies in their lives. S&BJD is our way of giving something back by the medium of meat and oral pleasure.

As a feminist, I'll confess to being thoroughly baffled by the entire concept. None of it maps on to my perception of reality in the slightest. Fortunately, to help me make sense of it all, I managed to get in touch with one of the organisers of this momentous occasion.

One of the things which played on my mind the most was a niggling concern, egregious amongst the hum of what I perceive as low-level gender stereotyping. What exactly is it about steak? The blow job is fairly self-explanatory, but why steak? “If you're a man reading this, then that needs no explanation,” explained by S&BJD source, cryptically. “If you're a women reading this, then you'll simply never understand. The exact opposite applies for shopping and Justin Beiber [sic].”

With that issue not cleared up in the slightest, it became abundantly clear that it really does have to be a steak: “Others take a more lenient approach and would allow for a Quorn substitute, but just typing that fills me with a sense of blasphemy - so red-meat is definitely advocated.” This line of thinking ties in with the inexplicable binary assumption that meat is somehow inherently masculine (hanging implicitly, then, is that a herbivorous diet is therefore feminine): in fact, in the UK, while more women than men are vegetarians, more men than women are vegans.

This is far from the only murky assumption lurking beneath S&BJD: when one unpicks the concept, some unpleasant ideas become apparent. Ultimately, the entire rationale behind a day where women are obliged to show their love through oral pleasure rests on the tired old notion that sex is something that men want and women reluctantly give up. This ties into a second societal belief that needs to die: the idea of sex as some sort of exchange. After all, S&BJD is proposed as some sort of balance to Valentine's Day: he bought you flowers and took you out for dinner, so now you need to fry up a manly meat feast and open wide. This line of thinking negates the possibility of sex and supper for its own sake.

I asked my source whether, if it is entirely true that men feel “a tad left out on Valentine's Day”, might it be prudent to attempt to salvage that holiday rather than create one by men, for men. He felt that it was thoroughly unsalvageable for reasons with which I have to agree: “It's become a capitalist money-sucker. Hotels hike their prices. Anything with a heart on it costs double. You get the picture.” An “indie” alternative to Valentine's Day would be all well and good, though, were it not for the fact that the site explicitly calls for corporate sponsorship, much of which appears to be provided by porn websites. Furthermore, S&BJD is happy to flog merchandise, suggesting that it, too, is headed in the direction of capitalist money-sucking rather than good old-fashioned independent cock-sucking.

I wondered, therefore, given the problems inherent to S&BJD, whether the instigators might fear some form of backlash. The tide is slowly turning against laddish behaviour and celebrations of a particular form of hegemonic masculinity: consider, for example, the ongoing saga of the “Uni Lad” website, which was taken down following outrage over rape jokes. While S&BJD showcases a lower level of misogyny, it is present nonetheless, and we are growing – rightly – less tolerant of this.

“You'd be amazed at how many women are fans on Facebook, Twitter or the website,” says my S&BJD source, using a defence which has also been employed by Uni Lad, and one which has parallels with the “some of my best friends are black” excuse. “That said, we're aware some women may feel a slight untoward, hence why we're launching Cake and Cunnilingus Day later this year,” he adds, missing the point of any rightful criticism completely.

By the Steak and a Blow Job logic, women will be winning 2-1 with Cake and Cunnilingus Day. Does this mean, to even out the scores once again, we'll be seeing Angus Beef and Anal Day in mid-May?

Make it stop. Let's stop viewing sex as an exchange and women as gatekeepers. Let's enjoy oral sex and food for its own sake, on any day we choose.